FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
