discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
