This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
