you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't deserve a penis
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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