i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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