isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
