I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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