Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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