Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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