My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
