im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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