i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There r osticjed everywhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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