i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize