So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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