Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
