like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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