I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
