I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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