Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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