Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
