I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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