She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize