Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
