Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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