if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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