I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
