I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Terrible idea I love it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
