ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
