I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
