Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
