ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
