DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
