I cockslap morals
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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