she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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