Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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