So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
