weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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