Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
