I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you made out with another girl for some wings
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
