somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize