Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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