obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize