why didn't you poke me back
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
