Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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