My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
