i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
