you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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