she was so not down for the gang bang
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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