and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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