his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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