But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
