I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
