Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
