So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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