She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
