I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
