i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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