I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
