It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I smell like Dick and happiness
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
