Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
birth control should be required to get into college
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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