is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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