I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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