what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
