We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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