i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
