Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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