PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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