i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
